(Romans 7:18) For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.

Last week I had a very bad week.  Everything on my job went awry.  By the end of the work week, I became out of sorts, angry, and unkind.  The previous week wasn’t much better.  So I spent the last two weeks failing to be what I think a good Christian man should be.

When reading back through my recent posts, I came across this statement, “In the circumstances of the day, I am more helpful, kind, gracious, loving, and patient (The Everyday Miracle).”  When I read these words of mine, I must confess that the contrast with this statement and my behavior during the last two weeks got me a little chocked up.  I had regressed.

 So, I asked myself, “Who am I?”  Am I the good guy or the bad guy?  Paul discusses this dilemma further through the rest of Romans chapter 7.  For me, the last two weeks provided a lesson in humility.  I am not the good guy or the bad guy.  I am a redeemed sinner fully dependent on the mercy and grace of God.  He has made me his child, and he disciplines me as he see fit.  Through this rough time, he has reminded me that without him I can do nothing.  Only in him can I successfully deal with my sinful nature.

I’m confident that God loves me, and he forgives me.  I can move on from this time, but I’ll need to keep this lesson in mind that I need him in all things.