Christian Life

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The Trouble with Marriage

The most important thing to remember about marriage is that two human beings are involved.  Now humans are created in the image of God, but they picked up an additional element at the fall of man.  This additional element is known as a sinful nature.  When thrown into a marital situation the sinful nature can wreak havoc.  Since we all have this destructive element, those of us who are married have an inherent obstacle to success.  How do we combat this obstacle?

I don’t claim to have the ultimate answer, but here are some thoughts that might help.  First, don’t be surprised when your partner sins; remember it’s inherent.  So, be ready with love and mercy.  In Colossians 3:12 &13 there is some great advice,

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Having trouble incorporating this into you relationship?  Help is just a prayer away.  God has always answered my prayers of “help me!”  When I fail to see the wonder and blessing in my wife, I ask God to fix my eyes. I recognize that the fault is in me.  My failing to see is found in the clouding of self-centeredness.  I’m thinking of me and not her.  God always helps me to alter my perspective and see clearly the wonderful gift of her presence in my life.

I’m writing here from the husband’s point of view, but I’m pretty sure this also works for wives.  If both partners look for the fault in themselves then God has an easier task.  He doesn’t have to wait till we own our part of the problem.  I realized early in our marriage that it was unfruitful for me to try and fix what I thought was wrong with my wife.  (Do I hear chuckling in the background?)  Yes, only God can fix me, and only God can fix my wife.  We both have that sinful nature to deal with.  Thankfully, we have a savior who is always ready to help.  All we have to do is humble ourselves and ask.

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With Great Expectation

I woke up this morning feeling better than I ever remember feeling.  My heart felt light, and I was in love with the world.  My wife seemed to be having the same kind of morning.  We had a pleasant breakfast together then left for work.  Walking out to my car several of my neighbors greeted me with a friendly good morning, and for the first time, I felt a genuine love for them as I returned their greeting.  I got in my car and headed out on my normal route to work.  I noticed that the normal intensity from my driving companions was missing.  People were not cutting each other off, but they were yielding to others and giving way in a very uncustomary manner.  All the tension and animosity of the usual experienced was gone.  I turned on the radio to hear the morning news.  Every report was of kind and generous acts occurring around the world.

Then I really woke up.  I realized I was dreaming.  To my dismay the scourge of sin was still among us.  Hatred, selfishness and mistrust were still guiding our actions.  How I longed for the world of my dream.  At that moment I realized, it is coming.  The reign of sin will end.  We will live in God’s presence where sin cannot exist.  God will usher in a new heaven and a new earth, and we won’t even remember the time of sin’s domination.  Hallelujah!  Let us patiently wait with great expectation.  (see Isaiah 65:17-25 and Revelation 21 & 22)

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The Elect

Many brilliant minds over the ages have developed doctrines about the elect and predestination.  The elect are those who will during the course of time accept Jesus as their savior.  Predestination refers to the idea that God already knows who the elect are. My endeavoring to add to or distract from the many works on this subject would be arrogant presumption.  But, I would like to throw in a few thoughts on the subject anyway.  You decide.  I know I’m treading on dangerous ground.

The apostles Paul and Peter both wrote about God’s foreknowledge of the ones who would become his children.  In Romans 8:29 Paul writes,

For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.

In 1 Peter 1:1 Peter writes,

            Peter an apostle of Jesus Christ, To God’s elect, exiles scattered throughout the provinces of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to be obedient to Jesus Christ and sprinkled with his blood.

In the past, when I read these passages, I would get lost in all the doctrinal issues they have spurred.  Now they just make me feel wanted.  God wants me.  He pursued me and patiently waited for me.  Perhaps you have inkling that you’re being perused by God.  I can, without reservation, recommend that you surrender to him.  Entrust yourself to his foreknowledge.

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What Now?

Once you have received Jesus as your savior you come to a place where you wonder, what now.  Many are ready with answers.  You’ll hear directions such as: find a church, get involved, learn your spiritual gifts, and most of all work hard for the Lord.  Surely this is good advice, for James reminds us that faith without works is dead. (James 2:17)   The danger though for us humans is we get too focused on our works.  Then we find ourselves working for God’s approval, or worse, other’s approval.  Burned out grumpy Christians are the results, and that is not very attractive.  There must be a better answer to the question “what now”.

The Prophet Micah clears it up for us.  In Micah 6:8 we read,

He has shown you, O man, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

To act justly:

Treat others with fairness, be impartial – do what is right in regard to others.

Love mercy:

Be forgiving and have compassion on ones who offend us or are in need.

Walk humbly with our God:

Recognize who God is, and our place in regard to him.  He is the all-powerful God who spoke the universe into existence.  We are his created beings whom he loves.

I believe these three instructions help to keep us from getting lost in our good works.  Notice the focus is on others and God not ourselves.

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Secrets of the globe

Some time ago I found a giant globe.  Inside the globe were three spheres.  The largest was centered in the globe, and the second largest, at some distance moved in an elliptical rotation around the central sphere.  The smallest of the spheres circled around the second sphere.  This machine quite fascinated me, so I set about to explore its wonders.

Most curious was I that I could find nothing connecting the spheres.  They seemed to simply float in their positions.  Neither could I discover any source of power.  After much contemplation, I concluded that the power that ran the machine must be contained in the spheres themselves.  Then I looked for a way to open the globe, but no place of entry to the globe was obvious. When I gave up on that, I began to look around the room where the globe was located.

I spied a book lying in the corner of the room, and I opened it.  In the beginning of the book, the maker of the globe was clearly identified, but being unfamiliar with this person it was of little help in my quest to unlock the mysteries of the globe.  I read further into the book and did discover some hints about the workings of the globe, but this partial information only led to frustration.  However, I did learn much about the maker in my readings.  So, I finally decided to set out on a quest to find the maker.  I concluded that only in him lay the answers to satisfy my curiosity.

Many have believed that our universe came about by accident.  But, as The Book tells us “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made …” (Romans 1:20).  In order to understand the world we live in, I believe we should set out on a quest to find the maker.  He has the answers we seek.  Yes, The Book is very helpful with this endeavor.

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Sharing Truth

I have long been careful to not be dogmatic about my Christian faith.  My main concern is that it would lead to controversy rather than conversion. It’s true that I believe every tenet of the Bible.  I believe it to be the word of God given to man.  I believe the creation story to be an accurate account of man’s beginning.  I believe there was a worldwide flood caused by God as judgment on man’s evil and all the stories of God and man as recorded within the Old Testament.  I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God that he was crucified an innocent man, that his death was in my stead to provide me with salvation, and that he was raised from the dead.  I believe that all of the New Testament is true.  So, why am I restrained when expressing this belief?  I am obviously dogmatic about it.

The answer is unequivocally love.  Truth shared dogmatically, untempered by love, is as the Apostle Paul declared in I Corinthians 13:1, “a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal”.  He goes on to remind us that “Love is patient; love is kind, Love is not boastful, not proud, not rude, and not self-seeking.  Incorporating the characteristics of love, when sharing my faith, certainly makes it more effective.  It’s not about me being right. It is about sharing with another the life changing experience that I have found.  Their reception of the message is in God’s hands.  Only God can change the heart.  I am the messenger, but the message is God’s.