Reading the Gospels became really difficult for me several years ago. Jesus’ words seemed harsh and prideful even arrogant. What? You may ask yourself. Well, please bear with me. You know that confession is good for the soul. Yes, I found myself avoiding the Gospels for they were troublesome to me. Finally, for I am slow to get around to dealing with spiritual problems, I asked the Holy Spirit for help. The answer to my dilemma was, as it usually is, simple.
I was reading the words of Jesus with the mindset that he is just a man. I was judging him based on the idea that these are the words of a man. Man capable of sin if you will. Wow, this sounds horrible doesn’t it, yet that is where I was. First, the Holly Spirit reminded me that Jesus is wholly God. He is also wholly man, but he is without sin. If Jesus had sinned, salvation would not have been possible. Through these clarifying reminders, the Spirit led me to a place of repentance.
I now read the Gospels with enthusiasm and delight. My mindset is that of walking beside my God as he speaks. I was walking in pride with my judgments, and it blinded me. Praise be to God for his great mercy and deliverance.
There are still words and situations in the Gospels that I don’t understand. But who fully understands God? I understand that God’s ways are not my ways, and his thoughts are not my thoughts (see Isaiah 55:8&9). So, when I don’t understand, that’s when trust comes in. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). Psalm 25:10 says, all the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant. I believe the Lord is loving and faithful, so therefore I am now comforted by the words of Jesus.