The most important thing to remember about marriage is that two human beings are involved. Now humans are created in the image of God, but they picked up an additional element at the fall of man. This additional element is known as a sinful nature. When thrown into a marital situation the sinful nature can wreak havoc. Since we all have this destructive element, those of us who are married have an inherent obstacle to success. How do we combat this obstacle?
I don’t claim to have the ultimate answer, but here are some thoughts that might help. First, don’t be surprised when your partner sins; remember it’s inherent. So, be ready with love and mercy. In Colossians 3:12 &13 there is some great advice,
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Having trouble incorporating this into you relationship? Help is just a prayer away. God has always answered my prayers of “help me!” When I fail to see the wonder and blessing in my wife, I ask God to fix my eyes. I recognize that the fault is in me. My failing to see is found in the clouding of self-centeredness. I’m thinking of me and not her. God always helps me to alter my perspective and see clearly the wonderful gift of her presence in my life.
I’m writing here from the husband’s point of view, but I’m pretty sure this also works for wives. If both partners look for the fault in themselves then God has an easier task. He doesn’t have to wait till we own our part of the problem. I realized early in our marriage that it was unfruitful for me to try and fix what I thought was wrong with my wife. (Do I hear chuckling in the background?) Yes, only God can fix me, and only God can fix my wife. We both have that sinful nature to deal with. Thankfully, we have a savior who is always ready to help. All we have to do is humble ourselves and ask.