HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE

My wife and I have a perfect marriage.  Okay, I’m lying.  We do have a great marriage though.  For 35 years, we have managed to love and like each other.  We’ve worked side by side for many of those years always with a single goal.  That goal was to seek the Lord and his will for us.  We have always sought his guidance and trusted him for the outcome.  Well, maybe always is a little exaggerated, but we’ve done our best to trust him.

I really believe that our success in marriage stems from our commitment.  The commitment I’m talking about came from before we met.  In August of 1980, we both surrendered our lives to the Lord and committed to serve him.  Bonnie sat down on a piano bench, and I sat on a rock.  We both asked the Lord to take over our lives.  Speaking for myself, I’d made such a mess of things I realized that I couldn’t do life without Him.  On the last day of November in 1980, we met.  From that day, it was a whirlwind of events that led to our marriage in April of 1981.

I had asked God for a wife, and I knew that Bonnie was his answer to that prayer.  And she was sure that I was the man God had sent to her.  This assurance, combined with our faith, has carried us through the years.  One of our early discoveries was that we both believed God had called us to love and care for children.  He has guided us to do just that.  What an amazing life he has given us.  There is no greater existence on the earth than a life with purpose fulfilled.  We have shared that life.

This is what I’ve learned.  Marriage is a partnership of strength.  It is a central point from which to radiate outward for the good of others.  In the process the relationship is strengthened and both partners become more of who they were created to be.  We are happy people in a happy marriage because we allowed God to lead us.

Hopelessly Flawed?

I am hopelessly flawed.  I want to be good and have good motives, but I find my heart to be full of selfish motives, unloving and unkind.  I try not to act on these ugly inner thoughts, for I want to be good.  I try to put on the good.  People think of me as good.  Alas, I am not.  I am hopelessly flawed.  I sometimes get depressed over this lack of good in me.  I want to be nice to people.  I want to treat them like a good Christian should.  I want God to like me.

Do you identify with this inner conflict?  Paul did.  In Romans chapter 7 he expresses this same inner conflict.

21. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  22. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23. But I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.  24. What a wretched man I am!  Who will rescue me from this body of death?  25. Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Thank you Father for your word, and thank you Paul for expressing this inner conflict so I know that I’m not alone.  Once again I am reminded that it is my FAITH that pleases God, not my puny attempts to make myself good.  In Jesus he fixed the problem that I can’t fix.  Yes, I am indeed flawed, but not hopelessly as I sometimes get lured into thinking.  There is hope not in what I can do, but in what he has done.  So, I take comfort in these words: “Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Amen!

Relating to God

When thinking of how to relate to God, I believe he has shown us through his Son.  Jesus in teaching about prayer gave us what is known as the Lord’s Prayer (see Matthew 6:9-13).   The prayer begins with “Our Father in heaven”.  I believe that in this expression God makes it clear that he wants us to know him as Father.  Throughout the words of Jesus he refers to God as his father and our father.  There are many telling expressions that Jesus shared giving us insight into the nature of the relationship God offers us as our Father, but the one I like and personally understand the most is the parable of the lost son.

In the parable of the lost son (Luke 15:11-32) Jesus tells the story of a son who takes his share of his father’s wealth,  leaves home, and goes to squander his money in wild living.  When the money is all gone, he finds himself destitute and working as a servant feeding pigs.  Obviously his predicament is the result of his own choices.  He chose this path against the wishes and wisdom of his father.  Not only did he go against his father’s wishes, but what he did, according to Hebrew society of the time, was to bring shame to his father.  Yet, when the son recognizes what he has done he decides to return and put himself at the mercy of his father.  I guess we can all imagine the reception he might receive from a human father.  But, the father in this story represents the heart of our Heavenly Father, and I believe it gives us an example of what to expect when relating to God as our father.

In Jesus’ parable the son is received with open arms, and the father puts on a big party to welcome him home.  This is forgiveness in its truest sense.  John reminds us in his first letter     (1 John 1:9) “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  I love this parable because it describes the reception I received when I returned to God.  He didn’t condemn me, but he welcomed me back with complete forgiveness.  He is a loving and forgiving father.

Controlling the Future

I like science fiction.  I don’t know what that says about me, but I do.  The idea of projecting where scientific discovery might take us fascinates me.  I like the adventure and the jolt to my imagination.  Fantasizing future worlds, even alien worlds, has occupies a fair portion of my personal time.

Yet the science fiction stories, where man goes back in time to reshape the future, point to the complexity of manipulating the intricate details of the progression of time.  Change one little occurrence and the entire future of man is impacted.  We can predict, but there are too many factors for us to have complete control over the outcome.

Now, imagine someone able to create a universe, create humans to live in this universe, and set the ball rolling toward a planned outcome.  To add to the complexity of the task, he gives the humans freedom of choice.  During the unfolding of his plan, he intervenes occasionally knowing exactly how this will affect the outcome.  Remember, his interventions usually involve humans who are continually deciding about their actions and reactions to their situation. 

The greatest intervention this creator makes is sending his son to live among humans with the plan to redeem them.  They need redemption because they have violated the prime directive to act in love and, within their freedom of choice, have chosen to injure their fellow humans. They have also turned their back to the creator and denied his very existence.  He accomplishes his redemption plan right on schedule and continues on to his planned outcome. 

The outcome he plans is for all those who receive his redemption to live forever in eternity with him.  Not all of his humans will accept the offer, but every one of them has the choice to receive redemption.  The only one who could put together such an elaborate and complex plan is the all-powerful, all-knowing, creator God.

Read: Genesis 1-3, Job 38 – 41, & Revelation 21 & 22

NOT AS I WILL

“My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.  Yet not as I will, but as you will.”  (Matthew 26:39)

I have often thought that life as a believer is like a roller coaster ride.  It starts with the climb of anticipation, and then it begins.  You drop in and away you go.  It’s scary and faster than you thought, but you adjust.  You roll with the curves.  You’re living the life.  Then when the trilling part is over, you take the slow approach to the end.  I thought that I had reached the slow part.  I was winding down waiting to depart.  Alas, I was mistaken.  I’m still living on the ride.  Life is still happening at a fast pace, and I’m trying to keep up.  Perhaps this Christian life has a more abrupt end.

Once you accept salvation through Jesus, you’re on the ride with him; you have no control over where it is going, you have put your trust in him.  You can jump out, but that usually ends badly.  Jesus took the ride.  He surrendered control to the will of God.  Thus his prayer, “Yet not as I will, but as you will.”  He asked for a change of direction, yet he stayed the course. 

This morning, I’m not asking for a change of direction.  I’m just asking for help to stay the course.  I can’t do it without his help.  The roller coaster ride of the Christian life is impossible alone.  I need Jesus all the time.  Besides, life is always much nicer with a friend by your side.  We get an all-powerful, all-knowing friend for our ride.

THE RESURRECTION

Romans 6:23  “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. “

Jesus is alive!  He was raised from the dead on the third day.  We celebrate Easter because everything that Jesus came for is completed with his resurrection.   From his birth, to his death on the cross, and then his resurrection, the miraculous plan of God for our redemption was accomplished.  For us we can be confident that life does not end in death because Jesus overcame death.  God raised him from the dead, and he has promised to raise us.  Eternal life is his gift to us.

I like Paul’s analogy in 1 Corinthians chapter 15 where he compares resurrection to the planting of a seed.  You put a seed in the ground and bury it.  If conditions are right, a living plant rises from the ground.  What comes up is totally different in appearance than the seed you planted, but it has new life.  When we die and are buried, our bodies as we know them are finished, but when we are resurrected, we’ll have a new body.  Unlike the old body, our new body has eternal life which is God’s gift to us.

Jesus is alive!  All that we hope for is centered on this truth.  If Jesus is not alive than what do we have?  Yet, he is alive, and our future is secured.  Praises be to God!  We are like little children standing in awe and wonder at what God has done for us.  The greatest gift has been purchased, and it is now freely given to you and me.  Oh what amazing things you have done, our holy and wonderful God, through Christ Jesus our Lord.

THE RESTORATIVE PROPERTIES OF EASTER

I find it always happens when I’m busy.  You know.  I’m busy working to accomplish my goals focused on the cares of this world.  God begins to fade into the background as an abstract concept.  It is very easy to ignore God for a time.  Then Easter comes.  “Oh, Hi God, I’ve been busy.”  “I’m looking forward to eternity with you, but I have these things to take care of now.”  It sometimes takes me the whole of Easter week to refocus to the reality of God’s presence.

 When I’m busy, I’m full of pride and self-concern.  From this position to the humble place of kneeling at the foot of the cross is a long distance.  One of my favorite scripture for the journey is from 2 Corinthians 4:18, “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  As I contemplate these words the tasks that so occupy my thoughts begin to fade.  Though I don’t see Jesus physically walking down the street, the reality of the steps he took some two thousand years ago, and there eternal significance, loom before my mental eyes, and I’m transported to his place of sacrificial love.

As the week proceeds and I think about what Jesus did, that which I am busy about dwindles to its temporary, insignificant place in the light of Jesus’ death and resurrection.  I can finally humbly kneel at the foot of his cross, and there I’m refreshed in my relationship with the God of creation.  And oh what peace I find there.  Burdens are lifted, and priorities are clarified. 

I pray that the restorative qualities of this week of Easter celebration may find you and work an eternal transformation in your soul.  Happy Easter!

THE SOURCE OF LOVE

On Sunday we celebrated Valentine’s Day, the holiday of love.  The word love stimulates a flurry of images, but what is love?  When I first encountered love, I was willing to put aside all other things and become single focused.  Love was about receiving.  Now I know that love is giving as well as receiving.  I have learned that love is caring for and giving to someone else.  Love inspired me to step beyond self-concern and focus on the needs of another.  Love is about relationship.  Yet I wonder how love got into my heart.  Where did it come from?

This whole topic has been stirred by reading 1 John chapter 4, and I think it provides answers for the above questions.  The apostle John first tells us that Love comes from God (verse 7).  In verses 8 and 16 he states that God is love.  I conclude that the reason I have love in my heart is that God put it there.  In verse 19 John says, “We love because he first loved us.”  When I love someone, it is because God loves me.  I am, though imperfectly, a reflection of his love.

The Apostle Paul clarifies for us what love is in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, “Love is patient, Love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”  Since God is love, these verses highlight his character.  God loves us with these attributes.

Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)  God made the eternal declaration of his love for us via the cross.  The Bible tells us of his love, but on the cross he demonstrated his love.  The great source of love has given his love to us in an irrefutable act.  God loved us in this sacrificial way in order to restore our relationship with him.  His command to us, love one another.  May his great act of love grow and flourish in our hearts.

WHAT JESUS DID

A couple of weeks ago my wife was reading to me from Revelations chapter 5. 

It starts:

Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne a scroll with writing on both sides and sealed with seven seals.  And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming in a loud voice, “Who is worthy to break the seals and open the scroll?”  But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look inside it.  I wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the scroll or look inside.  Then one of the elders said to me, “Do not weep!  See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed.  He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals”

As I listened to these words the significance of what Jesus did on the cross expanded from an occurrence on the earth to a universal, infinite event.  Jesus’ work on the cross is pivotal in God’s plan for his creation, and Jesus alone is worthy to bring about our transition to eternal life.  Jesus’ sacrifice has blossomed in my understanding to something awesome and everlasting.  The cross will forever remain at the center of our existence.

Having this broader understanding has refreshed for me the coming Easter celebration.  Everything for Christians is centered upon Jesus’ death on the cross and his resurrection.  Nothing else can compare with this.  He alone is worthy to bring to us salvation and eternal life.  Everything of eternal significance rests on what Jesus did. 

DECEITFULNESS OF WEALTH

When Jesus was explaining the parable of the sower to his disciples (Matthew 13:18-23) he used this phrase, the deceitfulness of wealth, when speaking of those who represent the seeds falling among the thorns.  In Matthew 13:22 Jesus said, “The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word making it unfruitful.”  This phrase caught my attention as I read through the passage, and I thought it worth a more in-depth look.

I frequently like to refer to The Message to expand a passage.  Here’s how verse 22 reads, “The seed cast in the weeds is the person who hears the kingdom news, but weeds of worry and illusions about getting more and wanting everything under the sun strangle what was heard, and nothing comes of it.”  (I love The Message.)  The words deceitfulness and illusions both give indication of something that is not really there.  We are lead to think there’s something there, but it is a deception.  Here in America, I believe the deceitfulness of wealth hinders us from fully participating in God’s kingdom.  Perhaps it is our greatest deception.

I remember, when my youngest daughter returned from a mission’s trip to Mexico, she was deeply impressed by how happy the people were in the village where she stayed.  She said to me, “Dad they live in shacks and have nothing, yet they are always cheerful and happy.”  It was a great experience for her.  She had the opportunity to realize that possessions don’t bring happiness.  It’s a deception.

As we celebrate this Christmas season let us not fall subject to the deception that it’s about getting more.  We already have what we need, Jesus.  We are celebrating God coming to earth, living among us, and giving his life for us.  What else could we need?  JOY TO THE WORLD!  THE LORD HAS COME!